It was what I call a "bad day" around here yesterday. Babies crying, preschooler was defiant and whiny, older kids were just being selfish and grouchy about it, husband was home later than expected and I was took the brunt of all the badness. Is badness a word? I ended my day in tears. I was fine until I wrestled the baby into pajamas, literally wrestled, and when husband came in the room he laughed. I tried to laugh. I cried. Then went to hide in the bathroom from all the chaos.
After all were settled in their beds. I snuggled into my man on the couch and said "what in the world?". His response was not what I expected. He said "aren't you glad that the kids feel secure in your love to know that even when they are bad, you still love them. Way to show them God today babe.". Huh?
I felt as if I was so far from the mom God wanted me to be I was struggling. I went to Mom's group with a false smile and false attitude of joy. I felt I failed there too.
God's love to my kids after failing over and over?
Then I realized. I failed over and over. I let that simmer on my mind because with that thought I know that God never stopped loving me or caring for me. God's love is unconditional. It's always. Never fails, never goes away, never stops. It's always.
I had to discipline children. Repeatedly for some of them. God disciplines me too. Repeatedly.
He always loves me. He loves me enough to discipline me.
His mercy never fails.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
He Fulfills His Purpose
Psalm 57
David is fleeing King Saul. Saul want him dead. David is living in caves in the desert, eating who know's what and feeling like he's being watched at every corner. His goal you would think is to merely save his life.
He stops to sing. Sing. He is fleeing death and he sings. He doesn't start with happiness in the song. In fact he pleads to God for mercy in verse one. Verse two is what strikes me. It says "I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me".
He knows and believes God. Believes God has a plan even amongst the chaos. Even while experiencing, shall we say, less than ideal circumstances, he sees that this is for God's plan to be fulfilled.
I have so much to learn. I look at little inconveniences in my life and started to mentally whine. Then something like the week long flu for the baby hits and I find myself in tears not just because I want my baby to be well, but because this is HARD!
God is fulfilling His purpose for me. I don't know what it is, but I take great comfort that God is greater than anything I can imagine and His purpose is being fulfilled. I will praise Him!
I will praise Him like David...minus the dancing, I have two left feet I don't need to injure myself. Verse 5 - Be exalted O God above the heavens
Read Psalm 57. So good. Rejoice that God is fulfilling His purpose in His children. Such peace and joy can be found in that thought alone. When you think your day is hard, look to God and praise Him for all He is doing in you.
David is fleeing King Saul. Saul want him dead. David is living in caves in the desert, eating who know's what and feeling like he's being watched at every corner. His goal you would think is to merely save his life.
He stops to sing. Sing. He is fleeing death and he sings. He doesn't start with happiness in the song. In fact he pleads to God for mercy in verse one. Verse two is what strikes me. It says "I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me".
He knows and believes God. Believes God has a plan even amongst the chaos. Even while experiencing, shall we say, less than ideal circumstances, he sees that this is for God's plan to be fulfilled.
I have so much to learn. I look at little inconveniences in my life and started to mentally whine. Then something like the week long flu for the baby hits and I find myself in tears not just because I want my baby to be well, but because this is HARD!
God is fulfilling His purpose for me. I don't know what it is, but I take great comfort that God is greater than anything I can imagine and His purpose is being fulfilled. I will praise Him!
I will praise Him like David...minus the dancing, I have two left feet I don't need to injure myself. Verse 5 - Be exalted O God above the heavens
Read Psalm 57. So good. Rejoice that God is fulfilling His purpose in His children. Such peace and joy can be found in that thought alone. When you think your day is hard, look to God and praise Him for all He is doing in you.
Friday, January 20, 2012
My Tummy Hurts
We've been hit with the flu here. Tummy aches, fever, rashes...all the other yuck that comes with it. BLAH! I really felt like complaining last night. Or should I say this morning. Early this morning. I started to. I even started to complain to God. Then my little one wrapped his arms around me and said "mommy? I think we should pray. I'm sick" So I let him start. His prayer - "Dear God, Thank you that you always always always love us. Even when I'm sick and I don't want to be sick and when I want to sleep and when we are sleeping and awake. I love you Jesus. amen".
Well, that put an ache in my heart. I forgot that even when my kids are sick, I'm tired, I'm not doing what I want to be doing and when I am doing the very thing my heart desires....God loves me. He wants His best for me. I may not know what it is in those sick times, but it's true. Maybe God wants me to see that he gave me our bodies. He's in control. In fact He's in control of everything! Sleep, the sun, big stuff, and little stuff. Having the flu may seem like little stuff but God wants me to acknowledge Him in these little things. Praise Him always.
Well, that put an ache in my heart. I forgot that even when my kids are sick, I'm tired, I'm not doing what I want to be doing and when I am doing the very thing my heart desires....God loves me. He wants His best for me. I may not know what it is in those sick times, but it's true. Maybe God wants me to see that he gave me our bodies. He's in control. In fact He's in control of everything! Sleep, the sun, big stuff, and little stuff. Having the flu may seem like little stuff but God wants me to acknowledge Him in these little things. Praise Him always.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Content
Phillipians 4:11-13 has been repeated and read so many time in the last month by so many in my life lately. It's about contentment. Learning to have it.
I need to learn a lesson from my 4 kids. Since this topic has been a sermon series it has prompted discussions that are so encouraging.
My children are content with what God gave them. I'm just going to make a list of things they said and you'll know why I learn from them so much.
Read the passage mentioned and remember it was written by a man that was in jail, had been beaten lost his fortune and had no wordly anything anymore. He was a rich educated man that chose to follow the Lord. It was hard but he learned to be content.
I need to learn a lesson from my 4 kids. Since this topic has been a sermon series it has prompted discussions that are so encouraging.
My children are content with what God gave them. I'm just going to make a list of things they said and you'll know why I learn from them so much.
- I don't really like dinner but I'm glad we have good food everyday and more in the fridge.
- Crazy thick hair, glad to have it because it is a way to be like their Mom.
- School is hard. Better than being dumb. Ha Ha Ha!
- My parents are divorced but God still brought me a great life with new family members.
- Blankie is getting washed...we have LOTS more. Lots!
- Too many toys to pick up. We have lots of toys to play with!
Read the passage mentioned and remember it was written by a man that was in jail, had been beaten lost his fortune and had no wordly anything anymore. He was a rich educated man that chose to follow the Lord. It was hard but he learned to be content.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Anything you can do, I can do better.....
"Comparison is the theif of Joy" - Franklin Roosevelt.
Never a truer statement has been said. My whole last year I feel like I battled with comparison stealing my joy. I did it to myself. Facebook. blogs, MOPS, playdates...all good in their own right aren't good if you come away with comparing yourself to others and feeling like a failure or that your life is boring. Moreoften than not after these activities I found myself wallowing in self pity. I sit there and say "seriously? They're going to Cancuun? Their baby slept 8 hours the 2nd night home? Their husband never ever annoys them in the least?" I was filled with thoughts from the Great Deceiver that my life was not up to par. My kids weren't the best, my husband was not exceptional or my finances were a mess.
What we see of others lives is most often not the reality either. We only see what they want us to see. We don't see lonely nights, or their unsettled heart or their lack of hope. Why am I even thinking that their life that is not being lived for Christ is even somewhat more appealing than a life that is in God's favor?
God got ahold of me though. Showed me that every good and perfect gift is from above. From my heavenly Father. All I have is HIS. If it's all His, it's gotta be the best for me right?
Too many of us women get caught in the cycle of seeing someone else's life as better than ours. We miss opportunties to be joyful. My husband is mine. A gift from God. My kids are mine. A gift from God. My finances...they belong to God. A gift from God.
When I started looking at what my life consists of as a gift from God, I found joy again.
Do my kids always sleep all night? Nope. Are we still paying off bills accumulated prior to our marriage? Yep, can't go to Cacuun quite yet. Does my husband do annoying things? Yep, so do I.
I have a great life. I really do! Do I have crazy parts? Yes and it's just making me more like Christ. If we never have struggles how do we really know God's grace, mercy and unconditional love?
Never a truer statement has been said. My whole last year I feel like I battled with comparison stealing my joy. I did it to myself. Facebook. blogs, MOPS, playdates...all good in their own right aren't good if you come away with comparing yourself to others and feeling like a failure or that your life is boring. Moreoften than not after these activities I found myself wallowing in self pity. I sit there and say "seriously? They're going to Cancuun? Their baby slept 8 hours the 2nd night home? Their husband never ever annoys them in the least?" I was filled with thoughts from the Great Deceiver that my life was not up to par. My kids weren't the best, my husband was not exceptional or my finances were a mess.
What we see of others lives is most often not the reality either. We only see what they want us to see. We don't see lonely nights, or their unsettled heart or their lack of hope. Why am I even thinking that their life that is not being lived for Christ is even somewhat more appealing than a life that is in God's favor?
God got ahold of me though. Showed me that every good and perfect gift is from above. From my heavenly Father. All I have is HIS. If it's all His, it's gotta be the best for me right?
Too many of us women get caught in the cycle of seeing someone else's life as better than ours. We miss opportunties to be joyful. My husband is mine. A gift from God. My kids are mine. A gift from God. My finances...they belong to God. A gift from God.
When I started looking at what my life consists of as a gift from God, I found joy again.
Do my kids always sleep all night? Nope. Are we still paying off bills accumulated prior to our marriage? Yep, can't go to Cacuun quite yet. Does my husband do annoying things? Yep, so do I.
I have a great life. I really do! Do I have crazy parts? Yes and it's just making me more like Christ. If we never have struggles how do we really know God's grace, mercy and unconditional love?
It's Been Too Long
it's been way too long since I journaled on here. I realized lately that I missed it. It's nice to pour out what God's working on in your life. To see it and reread it kind of makes the process easier to see in my life.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Resting in His Arms
My little 3 month old baby loves to sit with her Daddy and fall asleep. It's almost an instant reaction. He sits down to watch the news and grabs her up. She settles in and cannot keep her eyes open. She is so relaxed, at peace....safe.
My heavenly Father is like that. So often I find myself going about my day only to be drawn to Him. It may be a verse, a song or just an encouraging word from a friend. I am instantly relaxed, at peace. God is there. He wants me to rest in Him. He protects me and loves me even more than an earthly father ever could.
My heavenly Father is like that. So often I find myself going about my day only to be drawn to Him. It may be a verse, a song or just an encouraging word from a friend. I am instantly relaxed, at peace. God is there. He wants me to rest in Him. He protects me and loves me even more than an earthly father ever could.
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